Why is confidence so critical? Simply put, without confidence, kids can’t achieve their potential.
What is confidence? How does it look and feel in the gym, on the court, or on the field?
Jonathan, one young athlete, says feeling confident gets him “in the zone.”
"You know exactly what you’re doing and nothing can stop you. The adrenaline takes over and you feel like nothing can go wrong," he says. In short, when kids feel confident, they believe in their physical abilities. They’re free of worries, distractions, and doubts, which makes it easier to feel totally immersed in their sport.
Some kids are confident because they’re naturally talented athletes. They’re the fortunate ones. Others derive confidence from practicing and mastering skills.
Here’s what some young athletes say helps them feel confident:
- "I feel confident because my coach chooses me to play every minute of the game in soccer,” says Allison, age 12, who also plays basketball. “Also, the experience of playing so much gives me confidence.”
- “I feel confident if I’m winning and doing better than everyone else,” says Noelle, age 13.
- “To feel confident, I have to practice and stretch before races. I’m nervous, but when I get in the water, I feel good and confident if I do my routine first,” says Kateland, age 14.
First of all, sports parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they create their own confidence. If kids begin a game wanting immediate results (such as getting the first hit or basket of the game), they’re setting themselves up for frustration.
Many athletes have a fragile sense of confidence. They need to understand that it can take years to build confidence in sports. Many only feel confident when they experience immediate success, especially during a game or performance. They feel they need to score lots of goals or nab lots of rebounds. Don’t let them lose confidence by worrying about achieving these immediate results
What’s more, athletes need to understand that they’ll be more successful if they assume full responsibility for their own confidence before competition begins. Often, athletes unknowingly wait until the game starts before they decide how confident they should feel. If this is how your young athletes think, they need positive results before they feel confident.
Keep in mind that confidence develops over months and years of practice and play. Remind your child about this important fact. In addition, confidence should come from within. That’s why it’s called self-confidence. Your kids should not have to depend on what you say to boost their confidence on game day. They should learn to take personal responsibility for their confidence.

Yes, real confidence develops over months and/or years of practice and play, and it most certainly comes from within. Real confidence is intrinsic and built from the inside out never taking on an arrogant form.
Great article!!!
Lisa and Pat,
Your points are well taken and right on target. I love to hear experts placing responsibility for athletic success, in this case confidence, right on the shoulders of who has most control over building it - the athlete.
I agree! I am having the same issue with my son. This is his frist year playing football and his confidence in himself he is having problems with. God for bid I say anything to help. It makes him shut down. Any suggestions?
I agree that sports are a great way to instill confidence in young people. I think having the right people coaching these youngsters is key! Not many grow up to be star athletes, but they all have allstar personalities. Value good character for a champ!
Its hard to keep my kids confidence up when her coach sits her down when she messes up and dosent take the time to coach her. UGH! its so frustrating
That's where we are now, trying to instill confidence in a bunch of first year players.