There are twelve of them. They seem to be everywhere, all talking at once. I try to get them to pay attention to what I am saying but I can see a few drift off. There is something about glitter.

I have had this dream for the last few days now. Ever since my middle child brought home the paper asking for volunteers to help with her Girl Scout Troop. The paper wasn’t frightening but the look my child had as she handed me the form was. That face now held two huge Disney eyes... “Please Mom, can you help?… You are so good at crafts.”

I may be good at crafts but what I am not good at is patience. Especially when it comes to teaching. The idea of having to teach a group of twelve, 10 year olds anything, causes me to break out in hives.

I have the highest respect and appreciation for educators and coaches, especially ones who work with kids. Volunteer coaches are the backbone of youth sports. These dedicated folks spend their time and considerable energy teaching, encouraging and supporting our kid’s play of athletics. They coach teams because of their love for a child or youth and the love of the game. You can’t help but admire that.

As a parent, you decide to sign your child up to play a sport. You hope they learn not only the skills of the game but important social and character development, too. You buy them the gear; make sure they get to their practices, all the while, looking forward to watching them play in actual games. The bottom line is, you go to youth athletic games to watch YOUR child play. You may love the sport itself but you are there because of Your child.

The number one complaint from parents about youth sports is they feel their child doesn’t get enough playing time during games. Then throw in the fact your child’s coach is the parent of one of the other players on your team. This person is not just your child’s coach but also another parent at your kid’s school or lives in the neighborhood; your kids could be best friends, etc. How do you approach the coach with any issues about your team?

I know that there has been times I felt my daughter should have played longer in a game. My temptation at the time was to let the coach have it. Walk right up and ask why so and so played more than my daughter. It is natural to feel like the coach could be playing favorites. Why is his daughter always out there playing? You think you notice the daughter of his golfing buddy spending a lot of time on the field, too. We all want the best for our kids and it is hard not to feel like they might not be getting everything they should, sometimes.

The first thing you should do is keep complaints to yourself. Try not to talk to other parents from the team. This will get back to the coach at some point and not help in future discussions, let alone your friendship. Secondly, evaluate as objectively as you can how your child has played. Not only the results, but their effort. Do they try their best? Cheer on their teammates? Lastly, has your child made practices and been on time for games? These are the things coaches consider. If it still looks like there could be a problem, call the coach and ask when the best time is to talk about your concerns. Don't confront them on the field in front of other players or parents.

Coaches, you work so hard volunteering your time to help the team. Please try and remember that if a parent wants to discuss some concerns, that this is NOT a personal attack. Are there reasons some kids may have more playing time during games? Are the parents aware of the guidelines that are set forth for attending practices or other issues that may effect playing time? I am sure it does not need to be said that friendships are checked at the door when you are a coach. All decision making in regards to setting playing rosters and relieving players should be based on merit.

No matter what side of the field you are cheering the team on from; you are all there for the same reason, your kids. I know I get defensive when I feel my child might be getting shorted on something. Most of the time it is a misunderstanding or an oversight and not worth the stress and strain on you and your kids to let it get blown out of proportion. Ask some questions so it doesn’t fester inside of you. The situation will be resolved and everyone will get back to enjoying the game. Play on.