You might try calling or emailing Catching Coach Dave Weaver using the link below. Coach Weaver is one of the most respected catching coaches in the nation and a really great guy. He would be glad to answer any catching questions you may have.

www.catchingcamp.com/contact/

Dave is definitely very knowledgeable.

Also, it helps to start slow when trying to build your confidence back up. You need to know that you can successfully defend yourself and protect yourself from getting hurt.

That involves learning proper catching technique. It's hard to learn technique when you're in "fight or flight" mode though.

Remove the fear from your learning by practicing with tennis balls or something else you know won't hurt you so you can focus on JUST technique!

Then as you get better and better, you increase the difficulty of the drill (roll the ball faster if working on blocking). Eventually you move to softballs, maybe softer training type balls at first then after you master that and feel confident with that, move on to real softballs.

You have gear to help protect you if you use it properly (i.e. keeping your chin down so your mask can protect you and your throat isn't exposed on a dirt ball). Catching is a very special skill! Good luck to you!