As a youth basketball coach I will first say that it is a difficult task to make sure everyone is getting the proper insrtuction, espcially if he does not have any assistants. However, finding that balance is what seperates the good coaches from the poor ones.
The thing I would recommend, is having your son go to the coach and ask him what his role on the team is. This will force the coach to do some reflecting on how he has been utilizing the player and what if any plans he has for him. Also ask the coach what skills he could work on in order to have a better chance of developing into a potential starting player. Coaches like to see eagerness in their players and are usually more than willing to work with kids who truly want to get better. If he completes ignores his questions then go to the head of the league (if there is one and express your concern)
The one thing not to do is you yourself approach the coach. This will only make the coach not want to work with your son and may even keep him off teams in the future

I glad you ask the coach Willie, i Coach, train, teach and develop. Developing is the
Key, How can you just teach or talk to 5 in practice and never teach your bench.
Again some Coaches, can coach, some can train, some can teach, but 70 percent
can't develop what walk through that door. www.Lifechangingathletics.biz

Coach Willie

First of all I think it is important for you to know who is answering the question , so you can put the answer in perspective! There are definitely different ways to go about the issue. As for me, I am a coach:
This is plain simple to me. There is no place for "backup" players when coaching 13 year-olds. The coaches sole job in that age group is to instill a love for the game in the kids, to teach them the skills necessary to play and to teach them how to play rather than running plays! You also have to teach them to play together...and that definitely does not work by edging 5 players out. This coach is - bluntly put - coaching the wrong age group. So my advice would be, get your son out of that team and find a new one!

Thank you all for your advice--it is nice to hear the perspective from the coaching standpoint! I do wish that we were not in such a small town as there is simply no other team to transfer my son to. Thankfully I am blessed with a son that has overall kept his chin up despite losing some confidence and getting his feelings hurt--at least for now. I can see that I must intervene in order to help my son to maintain a positive attitude, and the love for the game. However, I must do so in a delicate manner to hopefully avoid damaging relationships etc...one of the few downsides to living in a small community! So again, thank you for helping me to clarify that indeed this coach's philosophy is not good for these kids, and not a predominant philosophy shared by other coaches in this age group. I wanted to know I was delving into this situation armed with some knowledge and the advice of those who know more than I do!

As a coach myself (this past year with 15-16 year olds but the previous two seasons with 13-14 year olds) I have to totally agree with Olaf. This coach is not only coaching the wrong age group but doesn't understand that every player needs to be ready to go in the game. Two years ago with the 13/14 boys we ended up winning the championship tournament. The team started with 10 players but one boy broke his arm before the season started, then our tallest boy got sick during the middle of the season and had to be admitted to the hospital. During our tournament run our top defender got an eye injury and sat out the last game and a half. If myself and my fellow coach didn't have all of our boys ready to play we would have easily lost. As it was, it became a very special run (we weren't expected to win it) with each of the boys playing their hearts out.

As for what to do, it does sound as though this coach would probably let his ego get in the way rather than deal with the issues at hand. What he fails to realize is that the best player at 13 may not be the best player at 15 or 16. Kids develop at different levels.

I would recommend getting your son in a good summer camp to improve his skills and basics. Encourage him to play not only basket ball during the summer but also other sports (believe it or not, tennis is great for helping to develop and maintain footwork) and then find him a new team on which to play. Good luck.

Well, I am glad that the coaches here are on the same page and this time I would like to agree with Marks opinion and advice!
I am honestly stunned that this coach is actually a teacher and I am wondering how he conducts his English classes!? How does he handle an in-cohesive group in the classroom?
Very well, let's think about what you can do to help your son! Again, I think Mark's advice is great and worth considering. Along those lines you could also look for an AAU team in your area (if applicable) where you could watch some practices before you sign up with them. If an AAU team is not available within reasonable distance, then try to find a good individual coach or player in your area and pay him/her to workout your son! This would give you the option to keep your son on the high school team while still helping him to get better and hopefully through his improvement he'd be able to convince his coach to consider him in the future. This would be a non-confrontational method. But there are others too! One I would like to mention is this one: Talk to the parents of those back-up players and try to feel them out in regard to where they stand on this issue. You don't want to necessarily recruit them - although you could if you chose to - but maybe you find common ground with them and they are frustrated as well. In this case you could decide as a group to take your sons off of the team for a while. This will definitely stir things up, because there is no team with only 5 players. That would probably make the coach approach you, which is what you want! Then all you need to point out is that this does not work for your sons. Make sure that this discussion is not about starting nor about playing minutes, but solely about development and incorporation in practice! This is certainly the more aggressive method, but the one with more chance of long-term change!
On a side note: Somebody is going to suffer on way or another...it is either going to be your son and his relationship to the game of basketball OR it is going to be the coach because he is forced to look at himself and how he does things! So if you choose to be non-confrontational then it is probably your son that will suffer. While the confrontation may be difficult at the time, I am certain that it will give your son a chance as far as basketball is concerned. Kenneth's advice is probably right on that you shouldn't approach the coach on your initiative, because it may harm your son's chance in the future. And this reality scares me beyond belief...as a father myself, I want my son to be coached by a person with integrity, character and a caring mentality! The fact that an adult cannot handle a parent discussing his/her sons development on the team without taking it out on the kid is mind boggling to me...SERIOUSLY!
I apologize for the lengthy response and I hope that you will find a solution helping your son to continue to enjoy basketball!

We have found ourselves in a similar situation with some baseball coaches. It is my experience that those coaches are not usually open to discussing things with parents and/or players. (However, you don't know until you ask for a conversation.) When we finally got to meet with a couple of coaches to discuss our concerns, I was blown away that the coach did not see his role as a coach to be similar to his role as a teacher...that we should work together for the benefit of the child. And the coach was never available to meet with us until he heard that we were considering moving our son to another school. It sounds like you don't have that option. So I like the previous suggestion that you look for some opportunities outside the school environment, assuming the coach will not hold that against your son. There are huge egos out there, and that makes it very difficult to have an open conversation with many coaches.

Do you know any players who have played for this coach before? You and your son could talk to someone you know who has been through this situation with this same coach to find out what worked for them. If he's new to coaching, then hopefully he will learn and become a better coach with time. It's great to hear that your son has kept a positive attitude. It sounds like you are handling things in the right way to help him with that. I am learning that resilience is one of my oldest son's biggest strengths. He has been through much disappointment, but he is still working towards his dream of playing professional baseball. To read my story about his most recent challenge, check my website www.dearsportsmom.com. I'm in the process of building the site, but the story is one of the few I've posted.

Happy Mother's Day!