Same as you did. i wouldv'e told him that if he thought i was doing it wrong, he should come out and try it himself.

As a youth soccer coach, I have found a pre-season meeting an essential aid in avoiding conflicts like this one. Getting parent and player buy-in to your policies and coaching 'philosophy' from day 1 is vital.

You can see an article on this subject (and managing parents in general) on www.footy4kids.co.uk -:

http://www.footy4kids.co.uk/pre_season_meeting.htm

http://www.footy4kids.co.uk/how_to_manage_soccer_parents.htm

At the point he came into the dugout Iwould have asked him kindly to wait until after the game to discuss any issue he had with my coaching. Coaches before any thing you do with the kids(thats why we coach) have ameeting with parents and let them know what you expect from them and the kids. Do this while the kids are sitting next to them. It helps the kids understand that we grown ups have to follow rules also.

When you start a team before the 1st practice there would be a parent, player and coach meeting. At the beginning of the meeting introduce yourself, tell of your expectations (winning) and have a set of rules or a Code of Conduct that all must sign that includes you. Have them signed and returned to you and you should make a copy of yours and make sure every parent gets a copy of yours. After that it is no question abide by the rules, have the rules enforced and follow thru with whatever it says even if that means their child is not allowed to play a game or they are banned for a game for unsportsmanlilke conduct. No if's or and's. Parents are the worst losers.

At the very first team meeting you set down that the only shouting from the sidelines the kids are going to be able to use during a game are positive shouts of encouragement. Tell them that anything else is not going to be understood and will more than likely just distract or confuse them. Explain their role as cheerleaders and positive motivators.

As the season goes on, make sure you reinforce what you previously said and call out parents anonymously by saying that you heard such and such and use the league guidelines to reinforce the sportsmanship by parents as well.

You can also go to the league and suggest a scoring system and trophy for first place in sportsmanship that includes scoring of parents, coaches,and kids conduct.

I hate to say it, but if you are a head coach, you are in charge of alot of various duties, teaching these children how to play ball appropriately with discipline, sportsmanship and positive attitudes. In turn, we also have to keep our parents positive, as well as teaching our children to play as a team.

I also have a player code of conduct, separte parent code of conduct as well as my assistant coaches code of conduct. In a way... you basically have to be a dictator. If it isn't your way.... (abiding my league bylaws) then it is no way. I had an issue this week. The parent crossed the line with me. I didn't raise my voice, no nasty words were said by me anyway, and I kindly reminded them, I, me.. that's it... has head coach beside the name and I am in charge, this is my team when they are on the field. You have breeched the contract and you may either have a seat, or go to the parking lot until we are finished. We will deal with this after practice or game. Also, I do not tolerate the behavior and it is unacceptable. If they can not control themselves in a timely appropriate manner, then I ask the parent to take their player and leave and a meeting will be conducted with the league president or commissioner of that division.

Just remember, you don't get paid to do the position, you are there voluntarily... hopefully because you want to be there not because someone coaxed you into doing it. You have to love the sport, love the kiddos and be willing to put up with a tolerable amount of BS, but there is a defined line and that line is yours to choose.

Hope this helps.

I posted a question along those lines... I find that in my minor league team that I manage, I get a little less flack from parents because we are winning our games. Without really thinking about it, I did some of the steps mentioned above, including meeting with the parents/coaches, talking about what I expect from them, giving them specific roles, and letting them know that certain 'me first' or 'win first' attitudes will help us do nothing but lose. So far, so good.