Mary, I really hate that happened. That absolutely sucks. What's important now, figure out how you can turn this to a positive. Corey desperately needs that from you right now.

First, be flattered for the reason you were opposed. If the other kid dodged a bullet, in the end it's a shallow victory for that kid anyway. He and his mother know it deep down inside.

Second, this is an opportunity to teach Corey to always give his best. Always. We never know who we are going to compete against. Sometimes you have to wrestle the referee and the other guy. Sometimes, as in this case, a whole group.

I've seen the 2nd place guy get Most Outstanding Wrestler because his mom was an AAU ref in the tournament. I've seen the head ref in the state finals take way back points and give them to the guy who slid out of bound on his back, because the guy on top was stalling? A 6-3 score turned to a 4-5 score with 10 seconds left. Amidst the thundering boos, the ref of the match embarrassed by the call stood bewildered. At the least, not taking away the back points would have still awarded the match the other way. I could go on and on. But it's not going to change it.

Third, Wrestling epitomizes life. Sometimes, crap just ain't fair. You gotta roll with it and learn from the bumps in the road. Now you can stop at the bumps and gripe or you can get further down the road.

Ultimately, "Winning is not the only thing" (sorry Vince). "Giving your best is the only thing. Winning is a symptom of giving your best".

Give Corey a perspective on this experience that will help him understand why it's so important to move forward and make up for it. Be willing and encourage him him the discipline of perpetual practice. Always in a drill mode. That means tolerating drills in the den floor during family time. That means being late for breakfast because he's on a run. That means taking the time to watch him snap off pushups while you count. Hear mom count is like singing to his ears. That means finding him in the corner of the kitchen counter snapping off dips.......

He's gotta know what's in the cup, decide if he wants to drink the cup, then start drinking. Then no one will ever rob him of victory again. Practice, drill, practice, drill, practice, drill, practice, drill............

I wanna thank you Dan very much for you'r response to my question,and we together I think have began to understand the concept,my son Corey has wrestled, well this is his 3rd year at it and he is going into the 7th grade next year.We have been going to all the open wrestling tournaments only to keep him in condition for next year. But we do understand that it can be taken away as well as given to you but only then can you determine weather to move forward or give up. I think Corey has done great as well as the other kids.And as well the other kids are just as important when it comes to this type of sport. My son is a very good athlete and is a very good sport, even when he loses he still gives the other kid a sportsmen shake and hug, showing that he does care for the opponent.Like I said before Corey and I both have learned alot from this,this year.

As for the parents and coaches that did this,I really am sorry for all of it but I know now that they know it wasn't a good thing because the ones that done it didn't get anywhere when it came down to showing what they were really made of. When it comes to this sport,you may be able to take away points but they can never take away what these children feel at heart about it. It is something that you have to enjoy and love deep down because it's a 1 on 1 sport and only you can be the 1 to take it, and thats only if you really want it.

Corey has taken 1st and 2nd in all the open tournaments we have been to so far and to me, thats shows me that it's all in his heart to take and show others that,like you said something can be taken away but u have to earn the respect to win it back. And yes it may take time to do so,but in the end....It's whats in you heart that counts. It's not always the trophy's, and it's not the meadal's that show how good a child can be. It's what they have learned and accomplished, I had 2 other son's that wrestled and believe me I wouldn't have changed anything then and nor will I now because I guess it takes something like what happened to Corey, only make them stronger.

So thanks again Dan for your response and to all the other wrestling mom's and dad's out there that wanna see the best for there child.This has been a very big learning experience for us as well as all of Corey's team mates

You're a great fan and a fantastic Mom.