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  • How do you deal with a coach that will play his own daughter in a position over a girl that has more talent at the same position?

Question

Sarah Kovall
Sarah Kovall
3555 views Asked April 26, 2009 in Softball

How do you deal with a coach that will play his own daughter in a position over a girl that has more talent at the same position?

Edited March 21, 2010
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Answers (177)

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  • Raufu Jones
    Raufu Jones
    Answered July 07, 2009
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    just tell him how u really feel

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  • Ken Ward
    Ken Ward
    Answered July 08, 2009
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    Talk it out. Go to the coach in private and ask him why it appears to you that his daughter is getting more play time than your daughter. Also understand that as you think your daughter is better he may think that his daughter is better to. But I would say talk to him and if you are not happy then you can go to the league president and if that doesn't solve your problem you can find another program next year your daughter is only 6 and she has a lot of time to develop.

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  • Antonette Cammock
    Antonette Cammock
    Answered July 08, 2009
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    Don't worry about it. Just play the sport you will get your chance to play. Don't worry about other people because the more you let affect you the harder it is to play the game.

    • Maddison Poteet
      Maddison Poteet commented March 03, 2010

      i disagree

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  • Larry Henry
    Larry Henry
    Answered July 09, 2009
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    Although I agree with many of the post on here, the one thing that I have found as a coach is that "nobody" ever sees the flaws in their own child. Every parent on the team can coach better, make better decisions, and their kid is always better than everyone else. Try not to be one of those parents because all it will do is create dissention and if your daughter stays in sports, you will find yourself traveling from team to team and never happy.

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  • Tiffnay Susie
    Tiffnay Susie
    Answered July 09, 2009
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    hey, this is wat happened to me...i play high school ball and the coaches daughter was worse than me and he played her over me..and i really think that its favortisim because if a girl is better than ur daughter wouldnt u put that girl in over your own daughter.but he didnt because then people would ask him why would u put a freshman over a sophmore....just tell him how u feel i got dicked over too.but tell that coach..

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  • Wes Ballard
    Wes Ballard
    Answered July 09, 2009
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    you shouldnt have to you. but you just have to show your skills and talk to the other coaches dont say any names though. i have gone through this in football so i know how you feel.

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  • Dymetrius W Ware
    Dymetrius W Ware
    Answered July 09, 2009
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    He not a coach! He is a father looking out for his on want and needs more then the team.

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  • Sidney Clemencia
    Sidney Clemencia
    Answered July 09, 2009
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    I need more information to give answer., for example
    - The girl with talent, she is talented on defense, offense or overall?
    - Are we looking at a competition where the coach decided to play his
    daughter because they are facing a weak/good team for her to get
    experience?
    - Are we looking at the fact that the daughter is a substitute for the girl
    with more talent ??

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  • Jasmin Brown
    Jasmin Brown
    Answered July 09, 2009
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    Go to a different team.

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  • Susan Autin
    Susan Autin
    Answered July 10, 2009
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    As a supervisor, I would talk to the father and explain that his daughter would be better at another position.

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  • Nick Beasley
    Nick Beasley
    Answered July 13, 2009
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    u just have 2 deal wit it n still be ur best

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  • Barbara Ferguson Crayton
    Barbara Ferguson Crayton
    Answered July 14, 2009
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    If the dad is the coach or a helper of the team you are just out of luck if it is a travel ball team. Move on to another team that either has no dad's (or Mom's) coaching or the coach's daughter doesn't play the same position as your daughter. Sometimes this doesn't even work. We were loyal to a team while others seemed to leave thinking that would account for something but in the end it doesn't, do what is best for your daughter to get the most experience that they can get.

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  • Breanna Welsh
    Breanna Welsh
    Answered July 14, 2009
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    well i just have to deal with it for cheerleading!!

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  • Saul Camacho
    Saul Camacho
    Answered July 14, 2009
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    TRY TO GET BETTER AT THE POSITION

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  • Sarah Garza
    Sarah Garza
    Answered July 15, 2009
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    well if that ever happens it always pushes me to try so much harder to prove to the coach that i deserve to play in that position.

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  • Aixa Ramos
    Aixa Ramos
    Answered July 15, 2009
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    It would push me to try harder and practice more and more.

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  • Howard Cohen
    Howard Cohen
    Answered July 15, 2009
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    First of all, the coach being prejudice should not be coaching. Everyone should be given an equal chance which is the only fair thing to do.

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  • Christian Yarbrough
    Christian Yarbrough
    Answered July 16, 2009
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    Okay although he is your coach and you should have repect, you need to tell him of your problem and tell him that what he is doing is not fair!! Just simply explain that even though this girl is his daughter how would he feel if some other coach was doing it to his daughter. And how would it make her feel when her talent is there but yet she cant play because there related!!!

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  • Tevin Johnson
    Tevin Johnson
    Answered July 17, 2009
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    The coach shouldnt even be showing favortism on a basketball team in the first place, even for his daughter. If there is a player with more talent than her, and shows a good attitude then there is no reason he should pick his daughter over the obviously more talented athlete. This choice right here could lead the team to victory instead of defeat.

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  • Cameron Little
    Cameron Little
    Answered July 17, 2009
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    Try and see if your daughter can be moved to a different team, but in the same league. Believe me that has happened to me plenty of times!!! Good luck!!!

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  • Kelsie Bennett
    Kelsie Bennett
    Answered July 17, 2009
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    If it is a school team then you should go personally and talk to your athletic director. They may be able to make some changes but in the meantime try even harder and get better. If its just like a summer thing then talk to your coach and even talk to the other player. If they are not understanding you may want to also take that problem to some higher authority. Yet again practice and play harder. Everything will work out in the end im sure.

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  • Charles Spence
    Charles Spence
    Answered July 17, 2009
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    Talk to the coach and tell him where you stand in the situation and why you believe you should be the starting player

    • Coach Tyrone
      Coach Tyrone commented September 13, 2009

      What would u do if she wasn't his daughter? You can do that same thing. But if your afraid of him doing it even more - try to tell the assistant coach if there is one instead.

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  • Ashley Turner
    Ashley Turner
    Answered July 18, 2009
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    make his daughter see that she's not fit for the position and convince her that it'd be best if she gave it gracefully before i made her look bad

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  • Ashley Nichole
    Ashley Nichole
    Answered July 18, 2009
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    i would talk to the coach privatly outside of practice. then i would talk to his daughter about it and see how she feels about it

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  • Khyarah Harris
    Khyarah Harris
    Answered July 19, 2009
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    well apperently the coach wants his daughter to shine which is not bad its just that she's shining a little too much. just talk to the coach like ashley nicole (above) said and ask him or her to allow your daughter to play the position since she;s better at it than the coach's daughter.

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  • Marcos Barron
    Marcos Barron
    Answered July 20, 2009
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    Approach the coach and let him know you concerns. He might not know that he is doing something wrong unless it it pointed out to him. Remember that everyone makes mistakes

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  • Courtney Bouffanie
    Courtney Bouffanie
    Answered July 20, 2009
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    TALK TO THE COACH AND TELL HIM THAT YOU DONT THINK IT IS RIGHT FOR HIM TO PLAY HIS DAUGHTER OR SON MORE THAN SOMEONE ELSE. AND IF THE COACH DOESNT DO ANTHING ABOUT IT TELL SOME ELSE THAT IS OVER THE TEAM...

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  • Jasmine Johnson
    Jasmine Johnson
    Answered July 21, 2009
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    Get parents and players together to talk to the coach, telling him that it's not right for him to cost the team games, and to put the better player out. Also let him know that we are a team and we should play as a team, equal and fair.

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  • Michelle Howett
    Michelle Howett
    Answered July 21, 2009
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    Well, I would get people together and Talk to the coach about who is right for what position.

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  • Austin Bollinger
    Austin Bollinger
    Answered July 21, 2009
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    this happens in all all most every little league or travel ball program. im at the age now where i play virginia high school league sports. paid coaching makes a world of difference. its like having a job... they do whatever it takes to succeed...

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  • Emily Holtz
    Emily Holtz
    Answered July 22, 2009
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    There's not really much you can do at the moment since you're in the middle of your season. I would suggest to try to make the best of this, even though that'll be hard, for the rest of your time with this particular team and then find a new one at the end of the season. Make sure it has good coaches too obviously because you don't want to get stuck in the same situation you were just in. Also, just have your daughter keep up the good work and always keep working hard at each position she's put at. Especially 1st base although it's mostly occupied by the coach's daughter. I know thats very unfair and is certainly frustrating to deal with however make sure she's always doing her best at each spot that she's at. he'll realize he needs his stud player at 1st one day and she's gonna be so good he can't not put her there! so just encourage her to keep a smile on her face and this is also really good practice for her mental game. :) once she gets through this, not one coach will ever be able to put her down or tell her she's not good enough.

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  • Larry Henry
    Larry Henry
    Answered July 22, 2009
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    I see a ton of post answering this question and people saying to go to the director, confront the coach, keep stats, etc..., but I think the one thing everyone is overlooking is that the question regards a 6U all star team. First of all I am thinking back to when I started coaching and at that age group I don't remember anyone being "that good". Even if she can catch the ball pretty decent, the odds that someone will actually throw it and make it to her are pretty slim. If she is all that, chances are that she can throw also, so she is probably needed somewhere else.

    Also if All Stars in her state are like most places, they are picked from other teams and only together for a month or so tops. With all of this in mind, I would say that the right answer is to do nothing and let her daughter be happy in knowing she was picked to be on an "All Star" team. At the younger age groups most girls are just happy to be there and it is the parents who get all worked up and create issues.

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  • Dezirae Addedl
    Dezirae Addedl
    Answered July 22, 2009
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    deal with it than when he finds out that you cant do it he will move you to the place that your good at

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  • Keith Smith
    Keith Smith
    Answered December 19, 2009
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    You are in a tough situation, but I do coach my daughter's team and she wasnt the main player until her skills level exceeded the other players on the team.

    First thing you may want to ask the coach is to explain to you what skills you are lacking that keeps you from the position you think you should have.

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  • Lena Gilliam
    Lena Gilliam
    Answered February 05, 2010
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    Man, that really stinks. Honestly, if you're not happy with that team, I would day find another one. It's about having fun, not winning and only playing certain players. Your coach doesn't seem to get that. I really hope everything turned out ok. :]

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  • Emily
    Emily
    Answered February 13, 2010
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    go tooo another squad

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  • Ryan Egan
    Ryan Egan
    Answered February 18, 2010
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    Work harder and let the coach watch you and realize that your better than his/hers daughter.

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  • Eric Bishop
    Eric Bishop
    Answered March 02, 2010
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    Cannot agree more with above comment, I just saw a video of Ladainian Tomlinson going through a similar thing when he was young (he talks about it half way through):

    http://www.youthfitnessmag.com/hot-topics

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  • Marissa Lavoto
    Marissa Lavoto
    Answered March 02, 2010
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    talk to the coach and tell him...and than confront the duaghter and the "talented' player....

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  • @very Bednarski
    @very Bednarski
    Answered March 13, 2010
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    Your coach is prejudice.......talk 2 the parents, or just change teams 2 someone who is fair

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